Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
