I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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