tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
