guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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