I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
