I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
