I only kidnapped one of them. chill
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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