I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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