The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize