I cockslap morals
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
