I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
