Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
