Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
