Non-Jews are for practice
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
