Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
