we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
