Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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