can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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