you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
this will be a night to untag.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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