No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
