If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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