I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
