She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize