we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
