That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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