Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize