Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize