508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He felt like a one man threesome
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
