What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
