How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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