The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
