Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy

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(310): View more from California

Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.

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(518): View more from New York

wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision

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(864): View more from South Carolina

i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.

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(804): View more from Virginia

Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?

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(647): View more from Ontario

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I will feel awake by 6 pm

(937): View more from Ohio

Are we not meeting until 6?

(513): View more from Ohio

No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party

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(530): View more from California

I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack

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