Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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