So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
