watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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