You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
