he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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