I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
