Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
