May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
