Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
