Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
