I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
