Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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