got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
