xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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