we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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