uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
