hell yes lets make some ravioli
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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