I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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