I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
