oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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