I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
