Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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