woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
