hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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