I cockslap morals
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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