At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
