hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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